Last week I went to a bio-photon treatment facility for the first time.
Hoping they would be able to get my immune-system back on track. 'Cause whenever someone sneezes...I got the flu! And hopefully it would also to keep me to the ground. I'm a mind-person and tend to leave my body for what it is. Leaving me unconnected to the "here and now"!
The lady working with the bio-photon equipment read my medical record and the complaints that no medical doctor was able to solve yet! She was surprized to see ESP described in it. Then she started to worry...Do you have telepathic-abilities? My awnser was: "Yes, at times I do have telepathic-abilities." Then she asked with some causion: "Are you reading me now?" But I wasn't... so the simple awnser was: "No!" It clearly made her nervous. Her questions made me nervous aswell! Was she suspicious of me? Why?
It made her even more nervous when the mesuring equipment showed I was the most healthiest person she had ever encounterd. I was giving so much energy! Then she asked if I had taken any medication lately...or had been active in sports within the last three days...But no I didn't! Then she asked me to let go the energy and please relax...Finally she got normal readings on her screen!
After the readings, she was looking for a sollution in a book, it wasn't very common so she had to look it up. She found it and wanted to set the computer to send this frequency of bio-photons, but it was not listed in the computer. I just stated: "It's there alright...check for another name for it!" And she found it! It was indeed listed under a slightly different name! "You already knew it was under a different name?! And that it was listed?" "Thank you...that was very helpfull!" she said. "But you probably already knew that!" She subtily remarked! She was clearly unconfortable with me possibly being able to see more than usual stuff.
If my medical report and complaints had not stated ESP and Highly sensitive...she would have believed it was a strange coincedence that I knew the treatment was listed under a slightly different name.
Then she apologized, saying she never met anyone like me before and that she could not imagine what it would be like to be that way! And that being higly sensitive is something most people would love to have! She looked very surprised when I stated that for exactly that reason I'd love to trade places with those people! Thinking: "What am I? A freakshow?"
It's not funny to be treated like a possible threat of exposing someones private life! I have no intention of looking in to those things, and if I accidentally see things, I would not tell or point fingers anyway. Simply because I would not like it if someone else did that to me. I'd like to be helpful with my abilities, and not be treated like a "weird person" in return.
I can imagine, that it makes people feel unconfortable, not knowing wether I can tell things about them or not. Keeping that in mind, it makes me unconfortable telling the truth about myself!
This encounter with the lady, made it clear to me that I should still be carefull, to whom I reveal the abilities. In the past a many people turned away from me for that reason. Atleast I know the friends I have now, have nothing to hide. ;-)
2007/08/07
The Pittfall called Expectations
During RV-training I noticed, I started as a blank sheet! That worked realy well!
Getting useful information about a target was easy! It just happend! But after tree weeks of dayly practice...the hit-rates dropped dramatically! Why? What happend?
After reviewing all my previous sessions, I discovered that after a while I was working with my memory instead of intuïtion. Somehow I was expecting to see something similar to what I had seen before. My mind was combining information from all previous targets. It seemed like my mind was creating it's own expectations. Whitout me even taking notice of that! I still believed I was RV-ing! And simply was loosing my touch. So a continues stream of RV-sessions somehow creates expectations. Similar to the Pavlov-effect! For instance if the previous feed-back was mostly buildings...the mind sets allmost automatically to RV-ing buildings! But that's not RV-ing...it's a memory interference!
Earlier this week I had an interesting conversation with a RV-critic. He stated that the website I was using for practice, might link (parts of) my rv-data to an image and could combine it with the feedback image in the database. Making it look like I was RV-ing. Although I think that is really far-fetched...it can not be completely excluded that he could be right!
I really do not know what script they are using, so to check if I would be able to RV without the computer, my husband and I set up an experiment. He has got plenty of photographs that I have never seen. He went to another room...blindly took a photograph out of a box and put it in a double envelope. So he did not know what the target picture was and neither did I.
I RV-ed this target correctly! We did a total session of six targets that way, and I provided amazing details about the target-pictures.
With the last target, my husband wanted to pull a trick on me. This time he peaked and selected a photograph with nothing but a green blur on it, just to see what the result would be if there was nothing in the picture. Ofcourse he didn't tell me that!
I RV-ed a shape of a tree...green...but not really green like a tree. More like grey-green or army-green. Then I pointed at his back-pack, and said that color! The picture is a blur with that color grey-green. So he took the photograph out of the envelope and held it next to the back-pack! And it was exactly that color! Even the shape I drew, was faintly in the pictures blur.
It pretty much conviced me, that there is nothing wrong with the computerized RV-training sessions on the website! But I was amazed by the target hit-rates in this session! Being used to the computer...it was new for me, to RV that way, and so I was like a blank sheet again! With amazing results!
If it wasn't for the critic...I would not have dicovered this so soon!
And I have to be aware of any expectations I might have about a target, and avoid the Pavlov-effect. These test were very usefull!
Getting useful information about a target was easy! It just happend! But after tree weeks of dayly practice...the hit-rates dropped dramatically! Why? What happend?
After reviewing all my previous sessions, I discovered that after a while I was working with my memory instead of intuïtion. Somehow I was expecting to see something similar to what I had seen before. My mind was combining information from all previous targets. It seemed like my mind was creating it's own expectations. Whitout me even taking notice of that! I still believed I was RV-ing! And simply was loosing my touch. So a continues stream of RV-sessions somehow creates expectations. Similar to the Pavlov-effect! For instance if the previous feed-back was mostly buildings...the mind sets allmost automatically to RV-ing buildings! But that's not RV-ing...it's a memory interference!
Earlier this week I had an interesting conversation with a RV-critic. He stated that the website I was using for practice, might link (parts of) my rv-data to an image and could combine it with the feedback image in the database. Making it look like I was RV-ing. Although I think that is really far-fetched...it can not be completely excluded that he could be right!
I really do not know what script they are using, so to check if I would be able to RV without the computer, my husband and I set up an experiment. He has got plenty of photographs that I have never seen. He went to another room...blindly took a photograph out of a box and put it in a double envelope. So he did not know what the target picture was and neither did I.
I RV-ed this target correctly! We did a total session of six targets that way, and I provided amazing details about the target-pictures.
With the last target, my husband wanted to pull a trick on me. This time he peaked and selected a photograph with nothing but a green blur on it, just to see what the result would be if there was nothing in the picture. Ofcourse he didn't tell me that!
I RV-ed a shape of a tree...green...but not really green like a tree. More like grey-green or army-green. Then I pointed at his back-pack, and said that color! The picture is a blur with that color grey-green. So he took the photograph out of the envelope and held it next to the back-pack! And it was exactly that color! Even the shape I drew, was faintly in the pictures blur.
It pretty much conviced me, that there is nothing wrong with the computerized RV-training sessions on the website! But I was amazed by the target hit-rates in this session! Being used to the computer...it was new for me, to RV that way, and so I was like a blank sheet again! With amazing results!
If it wasn't for the critic...I would not have dicovered this so soon!
And I have to be aware of any expectations I might have about a target, and avoid the Pavlov-effect. These test were very usefull!
2007/08/06
Remote Viewing
Through my interest on the psi-subject and the search for awnsers, I came across an amazing Remote Viewing website and community. At first it appeared to me, there was little difference between spontaneous Extra Sensory Perception and Remote Viewing. But as a newbee, it was clearly explained to me that there is a huge difference!
RV (Remote Viewing) is always double blind. No person knows what the target is, and so it is excluded that the information could have been obtained by any means than ESP. I then argued...but most of the time I do not know what my spontaneous ESP brings me...still I see things that later are confirmed. That is simmilar to RV, isn't it? Still it was not RV, because I had no intention of seeing things! With RV it is about intentional Viewing a Remote and unknown target! Besides RV-ing is done within a Protocol.
And what if I tried RV? Would my spontaneous psi get worse? Or would I be able to control it by practice? None of the RV-er could awnser that question. Some stated, that they became more sensitive after a lot of practice.
I decided I had nothing to loose, and gave it a try! But where do you start...if you have got nothing to start with? No clue, no indication, no nothing! Well...exactly...you start completely empty! At first I seemed pretty good at it. The so called "beginners luck!". But after a while I noticed, I wasn't the complete "blank sheet" anymore! Memories of the feedback of previous targets started to interfere! Then something changed. I started to describe not the actual target, but the next target I would get! A precognitive RV-session! After five times in a row viewing the next target...I guessed...I allready knew the data for the sixth target and that was my description of the fifth target! I proved to be correct!
RV (Remote Viewing) is always double blind. No person knows what the target is, and so it is excluded that the information could have been obtained by any means than ESP. I then argued...but most of the time I do not know what my spontaneous ESP brings me...still I see things that later are confirmed. That is simmilar to RV, isn't it? Still it was not RV, because I had no intention of seeing things! With RV it is about intentional Viewing a Remote and unknown target! Besides RV-ing is done within a Protocol.
And what if I tried RV? Would my spontaneous psi get worse? Or would I be able to control it by practice? None of the RV-er could awnser that question. Some stated, that they became more sensitive after a lot of practice.
I decided I had nothing to loose, and gave it a try! But where do you start...if you have got nothing to start with? No clue, no indication, no nothing! Well...exactly...you start completely empty! At first I seemed pretty good at it. The so called "beginners luck!". But after a while I noticed, I wasn't the complete "blank sheet" anymore! Memories of the feedback of previous targets started to interfere! Then something changed. I started to describe not the actual target, but the next target I would get! A precognitive RV-session! After five times in a row viewing the next target...I guessed...I allready knew the data for the sixth target and that was my description of the fifth target! I proved to be correct!
2007/08/04
The Bee on my Desk
While writing this, there is a bee sitting on the edge of my desk. I'm looking at the bee...sitting next to me. And it looks like it's looking back at me. I feel like I could trade places with it. I'd be the bee...and the bee, would be me.
I take a look at it...closing one eye...the bee is in another place. At least it looks that way! When I open my eye and close the other one...the image seems to shift again. Yet... the bee did not move and neather did I!
So in what place is it realy?
Is my left eye correct? Is my right eye correct? Are they only correct when they work together, because in that way I can percieve dept? Is my mind's interpretation of the things I see correct?
With only my two eyes...I can percieve the bee in three differtent places!
Actually in four different places! Because if I close both eyes...and picture the bee...the bee can be anywhere! And I can even be the bee...looking back at me!
So... are my eyes decieving me? Or is this bee, while sitting there...in the mean time..everywhere?
I'm I the bee...or not the bee? And how could it be me?
To be or not to be...is still the question!
2007/07/23
Stop saying what I wanted to say!
Funny how... at times... you just know what someone is going to say!
But when it happens a hole day long...it gets realy annoying!
Yesterday was such a day for me and my husband. It started with finishing his sentences...where he couldn't find the word. And later that day...I kept asking him, exactly what he was going to ask me! Being one step ahead of him all day long!
That realy frustrated him! So he finally said to me: "Will you please Stop saying what I wanted to say to you!" "I might aswell stop taking to you...if you already know what I'm going to say!" "It's not funny anymore!"
I couldn't help it! I just said what came to my mind...not realizing it was his thoughts that came to my mind!
But when it happens a hole day long...it gets realy annoying!
Yesterday was such a day for me and my husband. It started with finishing his sentences...where he couldn't find the word. And later that day...I kept asking him, exactly what he was going to ask me! Being one step ahead of him all day long!
That realy frustrated him! So he finally said to me: "Will you please Stop saying what I wanted to say to you!" "I might aswell stop taking to you...if you already know what I'm going to say!" "It's not funny anymore!"
I couldn't help it! I just said what came to my mind...not realizing it was his thoughts that came to my mind!
2007/07/17
Premonition: Seaquake Japan
Last sunday I was talking to my husband about a series of numbers that kept comming to my mind. I believed they could be coördinates. He suggested, I'd install Google earth, because that way I could fill in the numbers and see where they would lead to.
The first set of numbers turned out to be somewere in the middle of nowhere...in the south region of Egypt. I started playing around with Google earth entering all numbers that would come to mind. After a while I noticed that Europe, Africa and America where all represented in the numbers...I wondered what happend to Australia an Japan? Why does my mind seem to avoid these coördinates?
Manually I scrolled around the globe...and I came accross Japan.
Somehow Japan caught my attention, the breach-line under Japan. I kept looking at that point, and I felt ....there is going to be a seaquake...maybe even a tsunami there and Tokio will have big problems!
My husband was looking at me and the screen and asked: "Why are you looking at breach-lines in the Pacific ocean near Japan?" "Something wrong?" "You've been studing them for over half an hour now....and these are old images!"
This morning I picked up the newspaper. It stated: An earthquake has taken the lives of eight people in Japan... last monday morning.
My husband asked: "Were you looking for that information last sunday, when you were browsing Japan on Google earth?" I said: "Honey...this didn't happen untill monday...how could I have looked it up on sunday?" He just replied: "You knew...didn't you!" Yes...I knew this was going to happen soon. But I was not entirely right about the location. The epic-center was in the Japanese sea...and I had the feeling it would be in the Pacific...on the side of Tokio. That's a huge distance in the wrong direction. I do know the Nuclear Disaster...is bigger than they want to know or tell. Time will tell the damage done.
Still I've got this feeling that Tokio is not entirely "in the clear". I know... if my "mind" wants to avoid these locations.. there is a good reason!
The first set of numbers turned out to be somewere in the middle of nowhere...in the south region of Egypt. I started playing around with Google earth entering all numbers that would come to mind. After a while I noticed that Europe, Africa and America where all represented in the numbers...I wondered what happend to Australia an Japan? Why does my mind seem to avoid these coördinates?
Manually I scrolled around the globe...and I came accross Japan.
Somehow Japan caught my attention, the breach-line under Japan. I kept looking at that point, and I felt ....there is going to be a seaquake...maybe even a tsunami there and Tokio will have big problems!
My husband was looking at me and the screen and asked: "Why are you looking at breach-lines in the Pacific ocean near Japan?" "Something wrong?" "You've been studing them for over half an hour now....and these are old images!"
This morning I picked up the newspaper. It stated: An earthquake has taken the lives of eight people in Japan... last monday morning.
My husband asked: "Were you looking for that information last sunday, when you were browsing Japan on Google earth?" I said: "Honey...this didn't happen untill monday...how could I have looked it up on sunday?" He just replied: "You knew...didn't you!" Yes...I knew this was going to happen soon. But I was not entirely right about the location. The epic-center was in the Japanese sea...and I had the feeling it would be in the Pacific...on the side of Tokio. That's a huge distance in the wrong direction. I do know the Nuclear Disaster...is bigger than they want to know or tell. Time will tell the damage done.
Still I've got this feeling that Tokio is not entirely "in the clear". I know... if my "mind" wants to avoid these locations.. there is a good reason!
2007/07/14
Accepting ESP
After years of confusing and frustrating events, denying it and hoping "It would go away!", I found out there was no way to stop these ESP experiences from happening to me.
Neuro Linguistic Programming had little to no effect on stopping this. It did effect the kind of information I got. Meditation only made it worse...Psychology didn't give me any awnsers. Finally... I got tired of denying it, resisting it, fighting it and hiding it!
Despite the fact that I do not always like what I get to see, I decided that it's no different than "real life". Were people, may not always hear and see things they like. Perhaps in "real life" there is an easier way to try to avoid these confrontations (don't go and walk through dark alleys..if you can avoid it..for instance). Nevertheless...I had to learn and live with it.
It still frustrates me that I don't have a choice! That makes me determent to find the cause of this!
Once someome remarked: "It's not a gift, because anyone can learn how to use that sixth sense!" I agree on the last part of that...people who never experienced anything might be able to learn. But some people are just born with it...they can not "return this gift to sender!" They don't have that choice!
It's like giving a child a knife, without teaching it how to handle it. The knife can be a great tool...once you know what to do with it and how to handle it! If not...you just end up accidentally hurting yourself and others! Making it a terrible thing!
But still ...there is no manual on how to handle ESP-experiences. I was waving around this tool...not knowing what to do with it... accidentally causing harm to myself and other people.
A painfull way to learn..what you shouldn't do!
Neuro Linguistic Programming had little to no effect on stopping this. It did effect the kind of information I got. Meditation only made it worse...Psychology didn't give me any awnsers. Finally... I got tired of denying it, resisting it, fighting it and hiding it!
Despite the fact that I do not always like what I get to see, I decided that it's no different than "real life". Were people, may not always hear and see things they like. Perhaps in "real life" there is an easier way to try to avoid these confrontations (don't go and walk through dark alleys..if you can avoid it..for instance). Nevertheless...I had to learn and live with it.
It still frustrates me that I don't have a choice! That makes me determent to find the cause of this!
Once someome remarked: "It's not a gift, because anyone can learn how to use that sixth sense!" I agree on the last part of that...people who never experienced anything might be able to learn. But some people are just born with it...they can not "return this gift to sender!" They don't have that choice!
It's like giving a child a knife, without teaching it how to handle it. The knife can be a great tool...once you know what to do with it and how to handle it! If not...you just end up accidentally hurting yourself and others! Making it a terrible thing!
But still ...there is no manual on how to handle ESP-experiences. I was waving around this tool...not knowing what to do with it... accidentally causing harm to myself and other people.
A painfull way to learn..what you shouldn't do!
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