Doubt and Fear of the Unknown

I've had one of my first weird experiences when I was about 14 years old. My grandmother had died weeks ago. And one day I came home from school...poored myself a glas of lemonade and sat down on the sofa in the livingroom. Suddenly I was looking at the doorway, seeing my grandmother there...transparent, and hovering about five centimeters above the floor! She raised one arm, like waving me goodbye...and disapeared in thin air! I was completely stunned!

My mother was in the kitchen at that time and she continued like nothing happend...everything continued like nothing happend! If I told my mother, would it shock her? It was her mother that I had just seen there...Would she declair me insane? Most likely she would, as a child she used to tell me "ghosts do not exist"! Why would she believe me then? Was it just my fantasy running wild? It had to be that, because ..."ghosts do not exist"...right?

I wanted to find out if I was realy going "nuts" or what kind of mindtrick this was. I started to look up Freud, Jung, Adler, Maid and Steiner in the local libraray. It occurred to me that this could well be a peroid of mouring. The death of my grandmother was only a couple of weeks ago. And perhaps my subconsious was telling me I should say goodbye. While I thought that I already did. That would be a reasonable explanation! Lots of people see their loved-ones after they have deceased, and I'm no different! Atleast I wasn't going "nuts"!

That theory changed damatically, three years later! I had found an appartment complex esspecialy for young people. The rooms were not big, but I was happy to have found something I could afford to rent. The complex was a former "Old people's home".
There I saw other people, in the same strange way I had seen my grandmother...transparant and hovering above the floor. But this could not be mourning! I did not know these people!
My whole theory washed down the drain! So I could be insane? Maybe I have been all those three years? "Ghosts do not exist...right?" Than what am I seeing here?

One day a friend of mine came to my appartment. We left together to go shopping. As I was locking my appartment door and staring at the hallway, she suddenly remarked: "You see them too...don't you?" I innocently replied: "What?" As I wanted to be sure she wasn't joking me. "The old man with the cane and the hat and that old lady, in the hall!" She said: "It's oké, you are just seeing another dimention, here it seems like past, present and future are combined." Again...I was stunned! I had talked to nobody about this, because I believed they would declair me insane, and now my friend tells me she can see it too? And she described exactly what I was seeing!

There goes my theory of "Ghosts do not exist..." Now I have to admit they do... Or were we both hallucinating the same thing at the same time? Why would all parents tell their childern "Ghosts do not exist?" Later I discovered, that denying their existence, means you will leave them in peace and you will not fear something that you do not believe anyway! Therefor it's a very simple and great defence!

One of my neighbours had invited a couple of friends to have a seance at his place (our apartmentbuilding!) I did not know that at the time. Until the building was evacuated one day because he had turned on the gas and wanted to set his appartment on fire. Fortunately there were no casualties! My neighbour was admitted to a mental institution for a wile and later turn to a priest for help. He moved and I visited him about a year later. He told me what had happend. He heard voices in his appartment and strange things were happening. Things started to move by themselves. He was so scared...and wanted it to stop. He believed the only thing that could stop it was setting his appartment on fire. He never should have held the seance at his place. But it was too late.

Another neighbour (a former classmate of mine) was also admitted to a mental institution. She went there because she believed it was best for her. Unfortunately she never realy recoved.

My next door neighbour, had bought a new photocamera and asked me to pose for him in his livingroom. I sat in a chair next to the television and he took some pictures. The next week, he came knocking on my door. He said he did not believe in ghosts, but this picture was very weird! We both remembered the television was not turned on! Yet, the picture showed a face of an old lady on the television screen! The picture was made with an analogue camera, and we had no computers at that time. It was very unlikely he could have tempored with this photograph. There was nothing special on the other pictures, but just the one with me and the television.
He claimed he had never seen a ghostly image like that before. So he wasn't aware of what was going on in that building.

People always wonderd why the hall was always such a mess! They blamed it on the young people, and partually they were right. But I also believed it could be because the builing was housing more "people" than there were paying rent!

Trying to ignore these spirits, was a smart thing to do. Although they did not leave, they did not get any attention or energy from me. Even though sometimes the images and dreams I had seen there scared me. It prevented me from loosing my mind.

We were all relocated, because the building was going to be an "Old People's home" again, while another one in the area was going to be renovated. And I remembered the words of my friend back then: "You are seeing past, present and future! These are other dimentions!" Somehow she new this building was going to be an "Old people's Home" again.

After the renovation of the other building, this "gostly building" was broken down. During the digging to make a new foundation for a brand new appartment building, archeologist discovered the remains of an old Roman village there. There was an ancient water-wel located right under the building! Now a new appartment building has arised on that location. I wonder what it would be like to live there?